All America Beard Contest Results

The house was packed.  The chins were covered.  The beer was free.
Alas, kitsch was celebrated above craftsmanship, and, despite the valiant efforts of my beard-building friends (see below), my Frank-Zappa-meets-Allman-Brothers-during-Rumspringa get-up did not even place.  The fiercest competitor in the fake beard category used clippings from her own head (game set match) and looked great, but the judges rewarded conceptual-art-girl, who made a fringed shawl of brown polar fleece, and Santa-Beard-with-lights-lady, who, while very pleasant, did not even both to hide her elastic.  Alas.

 Notable winners included a member of the Sikh community in the natural beard category, a Scotsman with devilish curls in the mustache category, and a middle schooler in the partial facial hair category.  I found a few pictures here and here, and expect more to appear in the Boston publications over the next few days.

I have pre-interviews with a winner and the handlebar stripper (you'll see), which I'll dole out over the week.